Yet More Wedding

So no-one ever told me the lengths – and breadths – you have to go to, to pull off one of them thatr wedding thingies.

Today's melange of unrelated and mostly inexplicable tasks:

1. Locking Mojo out of the middle floor as she was skid-skating on the giant carrier bag covering the draft seating plan, like a feline John Tarvolta on a shiny dance floor.

2. Arranging for one kind friend (thank you Alex K!) to buy some food for Mum while we're on honeymoon, so Mother is not too Hubbard while we're away

3. Debating a shade of tulle (some poncy netting fabric) with the florist over the phone – why oh why I ever chose Cambridge Blue – which is green – as the 'colour that doesn't really exist' scheme I will never know

4. Trying to order H his wedding shirt online – only to start to hallucinate about imaginary checks and subliminal patterns in the fabric… am definitely losing it

5. Dreaming last night that there was a black lady having her hands cut off (yes I know, nice). What does that mean in the scheme of weddingness? Nothing to cut the cake? Nowhere to put the ring???

6. Having to open emailed photos of H in France, where he's gone with Ross to pick up the wine today – or should that read, where he's having a cracking fruits de mer & vin lunch in the sun while I am sweating away doing the snore jobs in a baking office (it is my afternoon off, honestly)

7. Writing a brief to the random girl from our German office who will hopefully housesit for the 2nd week of our honeymoon, without sounding patronising (well maybe German washing machines don't work the same way as ours) or like a crazed cat-lady (maybe the bit on Mojo's preferred anatomical scratching locations was a little overboard…)

8.  Trying to choose between the 2 possible 'First Dance' songs on the final shortlist – Liz Tinlin, you're going to be pleased!

9. Briefing my sister to change the sheets & towels and not leave her usual wake of toddler destruction behind her, in between her post-wedding week in our house and Nadja coming from Germany, so Nadja doesn't think all English people live like schweinhunde..

10. And then wondering what else I should have done, that there now won't be time to do, what with the multitude of Bank Holidays and time that people are taking off work – hey ho..

And that's just this morning! Happy days – off to John Lewis for some more bloody ribbon. Should have taken out shares… But it will all be worth it soon enough, can't wait.

Sx