The Big 5-0 in the South Pacific

Well it was quite a birthday this year. And if it has to be one that ends with a big zero, then today (this will only be published when we get WiFi again!) really was a pretty fine way to do it.

Days on the catamaran with Janine and Ross start around 5am, but to make it feel less like 5am we call it 7am, heading to bed around 8pm when it’s dark, but calling this 10pm so it doesn’t feel weird. This is what’s known as ‘boat time’.

Anyway, I woke up on my birthday around 7am boat time to the sound of Ross putting the kettle on, and soon a cup of tea in bed was delivered. Cue some man scuffling noises and ‘can you hold this’ loud whispers for the next 20 minutes, until I emerged to find Scotty-sitting-on-a-sheep-bar-stool-photo bunting put up around the boat. Ah, sweet.

I’d wondered why J had asked me a couple of days back, ‘how many birthday cards have you got with you?’. To which I’d slightly sorrowfully replied, ‘only 6, but we left nearly 2 weeks before my birthday, so hopefully I’ll come back to some on the doormat’.

So it was a TOP surprise to then be given a huge pile to open, which people had very kindly posted to J in advance. Thank you, thank you! And my next worry, ‘but they’ll all fly away in this wind’ was averted by the clever string and mini clips to hoist them up securely as we sailed. The birthday boat looked very bright n breezy.

Next Brucey Bonus was my birthday breakfast. We’ve been having sachet porridge most days, as when you’re on a boat for 2 weeks and there is not a single shop, everything is rationed. So today was the day that the pile of tins that I’d hoofed here from Blighty, got turned into a magical mountain of corned beef hash, to kick off the day. With a perfect Hawksey poached egg on top. Yum yum yum.

As we set off, I thought I’d stick my fishing rod out, with the lucky lure that Ross and H have both caught a mackerel on, and that H got the yellowfin tuna on, yesterday. Literally, as the line went out it started screaming, the rare but thrilling sound of ‘fish on’. Zing, zing as the line shot back and forth with some piscine monster on it. I need some hubby help as the submerged fish fought like a bugger for about 40 mins, while our boat bobbed slightly precariously near the reef edge.

Eventually we managed to land a new variety of dinner – a Loche Bleue fish, apparently, in local lingo. One chuffed Scotty, with knackered arms as a result both of hauling it out of the sea, and hefting it up for the required birthday catch of the day photos..

Next stop was Ilot Derue, an idyllic place for my birthday lunch, a small white sand island with just us on it.

Perfect for a spot of ‘man make fire’ as H likes to beat his chest and call it. Also known as 15 mins of kneeling in the sand trying to get the firefighters to catch light in the wind and turn coal into a bbq…. But what fine handmade burgers, complete with bap, coleslaw and even slutty cheese (as those naughty but nice yellow Kraft slices are known in our house) those were. Amazing to be sat on our dinghy, feet in the sea, looking at sand and turquoise waters, no-one else in sight, noshing on a burger, in paradise.

H then made me yomp round the island, much of which was waist high wading in the sea as there was no beach on the other side. Avoiding the red crabs, collecting sand dollars, saying hi to a nearby turtle and wondering how many calories you burn vs ingest on a big birthday.

Sailed onwards to our unexpected night stop, as the winds are turning and we needed to be nearer to the pass (break in the reef) though which we will head northwards in a couple of days to get to one of the Loyalty Islands, Lifou. In the Bay de Prony (Peroni?) so a sweetly familiar name.

Pre dinner pina coladas with onion ring crisps, my snack of choice from the large pile brought as hand luggage. Followed by Loche Bleue sushi, made with the sushi rice and nori bought in Tokyo en route, using the rolling mat I had hopefully packed, wishing that Ross would catch something, anything this trip. And now we’ve caught so many huge fish that my planned and hotly anticipated birthday chicken wings have been superseded by fish, rice and green beans. God damn it..

Next bit of loveliness is the rather nice bottle of vintage Perrier Jouet champers that the BA crew slipped us at the end of the flight. We said flying First was very much a treat for us, so they snuck one into our bag, a really nice touch. This, with the sushi, was our second ever fish n fizz moment, as we once made freshly caught at-sea sushi with James and Dominic on our old boat. Mackerel and the Solent were good, but Loche Bleue in the South Pacific is pretty fine too..

And thence into dinner prep. I am very much a meat girl but as I made the rooky error of catching a fish on my birthday, we had to do it justice and eat it. With garlic green beans (the last of our fresh market supplies) and a Waitrose packet of giant couscous, or whatever it was. Nothing could really beat lunchtime’s bbq burger on the beach, but the cocktails helped. As did the glamorous birthday pud – butterscotch Angel Delight!

And then J appeared with the final two surprises. I have long coveted their sheepy sculpture at the cottage, a sleek black cool looking fella. A long way from the fluffy white ‘novelty sheep’ that much of the world seems to favour. And I tried, a few years ago, to commission one. A total disaster that ended up with that sheep being returned to the (con) artist and me deciding I will never try that game again.

So Ross had, amazingly, cast a copy of their sheep. Three times apparently, resulting the third time, with the one I unwrapped. A gorgeous little fella, to be known as Cooty, in honour of the cottage. How kind. And a very good effort getting it all the way here!

Then to the final gift, that must have taken half J’s suitcase. Not just a giant photobook but one with pictures of all my favourite people posing with sheep. Real ones, fluffy ones, knitted ones, ceramic ones, soap ones, photoshopped ones… it seems more people have a closet sheep love than they admit! It is very, very touching that people had gone to such efforts and gave a brilliant warm glow of long distance friendship that I’m massively chuffed to feel. I will be flicking through it on our return, every time I need a chuckle (or some bribery material)…

One last hurrah, lying in the front nets of the catamaran, being watched by Hawksey’s sticker flock, with a Johnnie Walker and ginger beer, and a very unique and special 50th birthday drew to its close.

Huge thanks to everyone for your contributions – your friendship, love, humour and company really do make the world go round.

Scotty H. Aged 50, finally x






Sent from Scotty's iPhone