My Friend Matt…

God, I don't know where to begin. This won't make cheery reading whether you do or don't know the wonderful man this is about, but I have to put something down in words as a tribute to another friend who didn't deserve for one nano-second what's so so sadly happened to him.

Matt Wilkinson – what a brilliant, kind, lovely, gentle, thoughtful, sweet, funny, caring man, has died, it appears so far from a heart attack. Aged 41. Like all of us every day, expected home from work, except he was the terribly unlucky one who just didn't arrive.

Matt was the superb brother of Lydia (Lyds) - my fab friend who trotted round Rajasthan with me most recently. Great, longtime childhood friend of Hatch and Morts. Living in Manchester near Lyds, and married to Drags, with – oh god – his first baby on the way. I last saw him only 3 weeks ago at Andy Morton's 40th, where he was – just lovely Matt as usual. The guy who was taking photos of the party, so there'd be good memories of a good boozy night. The guy who'd always remember what you were up to, and ask far more about how you were, than ever be full of himself. The guy who'd check that everyone was ok – where they were staying, how they were getting back. Above all, the guy who adored Lyds his sister, and looked after her, always with a smile on his face, an arm round her shoulders and pride in his eyes.

The guy I first met after Hatch's wedding in Sherborne, and who I remember best for when a smaller group of us were in the kitchen in the small hours of the night post-reception, and Lyds had fallen asleep on the floor. Matt needed to wake her up, but instead of prodding her with his foot or pouring water on her head as most brothers would have done, he kneeled down next to her and gently stroked her cheek, whispering her awake. It was so sweet it struck me strongly then, and was my first real indication of the gentleness and thoughtful love that was all about Matt.

So bloody unfairly and terribly sadly, now all gone.

Words can't say how much I feel for Lyds…. my friend, if I could change this in any way, I'd jump out of a plane for the chance.

And as I lie in bed tonight, reflecting on this dreadful bloody week - firstly Neil and now Matt, two lovely men who just didn't get the chances they deserved, it can't help but slam into my head how lucky we are – and I mean it in such a fundamental way – we are all SO lucky to get every single day on this earth. I never realised it till bloody Cancer came knocking on my door, and losing Neil and Matt brings it home all the more strongly.

Matt – bless you for every minute. Lyds – I'm here for you, whatever you need. Everyone else out there, give your loved ones that extra hug, phone call or special thing that they love you for, because there's no second chances sometimes.

Matty – you were a star.

Scotty.