Mr Sore Knee

Well, yesterday we scooted up to Parkside for H's knee operation. Started badly when we were told to report to the 3rd floor – the location of my nemesis the Stem Cell transplant, and only an oncology floor. Thought there had to be a mistake and was totally creeped out by being back there, even if it was just for a few minutes till they worked out that we were on the 2nd floor after all. Urrggh. Some things you never shake off, yuk yuk yuk.

So – then waited a merry 4 hours for H to be taken to theatre, at which point I gleely (is that a word?) slithered in my pointy black impractical boots and sexy rolled up jeans to Wimbledon Village, slightly elated by the fact that for once it wasn't me incarcerated in Parkside, and driven by the need to buy some more Xmas cards so they might arrive at least before New Year, and very hopefully, this one.

Oddly, bumped into Nicky & Jules in Barley & Sage for the second week in a row – Nicky I'm sure you have a second job and are moonlighting there – bring on that staff discount! Clearly the Village has magical powers as previous week we also saw Georgie Headley cruising round in a car with someone who (she pointed out) wasn't her husband – amazing how also having several small children in the back of a station wagon with you can immediately scotch even the slightly squib of a possibility that there might be tiny gossip there!

Anyway – H's consultant appeared back in his room before H did – showing me the gross pot with several bits of H's kneecap ('loose bodies' is the term, nice) floating in it and 24 pictures of his knee. Apparently they were before and after shots but they looked all the same to me until the more helpful physio girl explained that 'the bits that look like crab soup aren't good, and there's less chinese-looking stuff at the end'. At least I just about managed not to ask what the grey looking piece was, just working out in time that it was the tool thing he had stuck in there…

The upside - Hawksey didn't thank god have his full ACL (cruciate ligament) done, but the downside is the consultant said it was one of the worst knees he'd seen, would take up to 6 months to recover from (HELLO – DIDN'T I MENTION THE WEDDING IN MAY???!!!) and – hmm, not so handy – that H would never play sport again. Which he hadn't mentioned previously, so we're hoping it's one of those doctor things where they start off negative then tell you how brilliantly clever they are, when you do actually get better. Either that or I need to get him a PlayStation to scratch his active itch on.

The other slight shocker was the 'he needs to lie flat for 2 weeks' bit – DOUBLE HELLO – HAVE YOU SPOTTED ITS XMAS IN 5 DAYS TIME?????!!!! Looks like I will be massacring our festive duck and over-boiling the guff-inducing sprouties all by my destructive self this Crimbo. Must add extra ready meals to the Ocado order…..

Time to go – the horizontal patient needs tea / feet rubbing / the TV channel changing / trip to the loo / reading light turning on or off / breathing done for him / blah blah blah. Is it time to go back to work yet… please??!!

Florence 'Could Do Better' Nightingale x