Airport Schmairport

So, the thrilling events of today (Sunday) so far:

7.15am: Got up. As I was for once first into the kitchen, discovered that Mum’s helper Silviya has been filling Mojo’s daily foodpots to the brim, no wonder she’s getting as fat as her mum & dad. Mojo, that is, not Silviya.

8.15am: Legged it to Sainsbury’s to get a newspaper as for once I was determined to have a Sunday Times for my flight that wasn’t the dull 4 sections that BAA determines everyone shalt have, whether you like the snoresville Business section or not.

8.40am: Taxi drove me to T5. Very nice chap but kept accelerating and decelerating the whole way. Felt very pukey when got out, why do people drive like that? Still, had a good chat about Olympic ticket allocation en route, so passed the time nicely.

9.15am: Checked in at First for the Last time as lose my Gold card in 9 days time, boo hoo. Snaffled a very pleasing upgrade to Club as had to fly out Prem Ec and back in Club for budget purposes – marv to get bumped up.

10.15am: Enjoyed the ‘turn LEFT madam’ instruction, always a small (ok, big) thrill to walk away from the pleb seats and into a big comfy one.

11am: Plane doesn;t take off on time.

11.15am: Annoucement that plane is a replacement and even so, is broken

12.15pm: Announcement that it will be at leats an hour, as plane still not mended

1.15pm: Mass bunfight breaks out, as First Class passengers are unsubtley disembarked under our noses, and the Club section realises all is not well.

1.30pm: Thrown off plane. Get to Customer Services first (the fitness training is paying off) only to realise that can’t get on another flight as for once I have a bag in the hold, all needed for the training I’m due to be running tomorrow, and which now looks in jeopardy. Get told flight is now 4.45pm, ‘hopefully’.

2.00pm: Try and get waitlisted on another flight. Woman on Amex Travel line suggests I get the 2pm plane. What bloody country is she in, it’s gone 2pm!

2.05pm: Have a think about how important it is to have my suitcase or not. Can I do the training without the jigsaws, giveaway presents, sweets, power cable and printed notes? Probably. Can I do it without any clean pants and deodorant, hmm a less pleasant prospect for all involved…

2.10pm: Have a non-sumptuous lunch of ham and salad. With a small spoon of coleslaw so its doesn;t stick to the roof of my mouth.

2.12pm: Hear the crisps calling me. Manage to walk away.

2.30pm: Book an Elemis head rub. It’s free and I’m grumpy.

3pm: Find Man City playing Spurs on the box. 4 goals go in within the 15 mins I’;m watching. More interesting than the silence of the full lounge.

3.15pm: Hear the crisps again, on my way back from the loo and the free hand cream. Manage, just, to walk away again.

3.30pm: Cancel my meeting at 6pm in New York and the cheeky cocktail with a chum also coincidentally out there that I was hoping to sneak in before bed.

4pm: Flight still on the board as 4.45pm. Not sure I believe it, but nothing to the contrary, yet.

4.05pm: Realise that I should probably have spent some of these delightful 7 hours reading my presentation deck and dropping the videos in it. Think ‘sod it’ – will wing it tomorrow and hope they don’t spot the cracks in the Scotty armour.

4.10pm: Off to check the board for the thirtieth time. Customer Service lady busy writing down her announcement about the flight, oh bloody hell, that doesn’t bode well, we should be boarding now. Have a wry thought that anyone who thinking international travel is glamorous, might now be thinking twice!

Hope your Sundays were infinitely more enjoyable / sociable and that I get to get on a plane that actually does have brakes this time, and manage to get past those noisy crisps just this one last time on the way…

Fingers crossed the puppy flies.

Sx