Rough flow of the chat from two very lovely older lady nurses at Parkside just now, when I showed them my back stitches to take out:
Oh, Sally
Yes Teresa? (nurse 2 looks)
Oh, I see what you mean
Hmm, yes
Well..
What are we to do?
Well, these have to be the tightest stitches I have ever seen
Yes, for me too – they never normally look like this
They are so tight! You just can't get the scissors under them
Normally there's the end bit and then the stitch, and you get hold of that..
But there isn't here, somehow they are so tight that I just can't get at them
Tell, you what let's each have a go – if you don't mind Mrs Hawkes (like I had a choice) – we can do a row each
Me: So how many stitches are there?
Well, there are 8
In each row that is…
Me: So 16, and how many are out so far?
Three, they were the easiest ones but the rest are a little bit of a challenge
(It goes quiet while I'm sensing what feels like two small elves with tiny pickaxes looking for gold in my lumbar region)
Well, now. There we are. These are definitely very different to anything I've seen before in all these years.
Me: I always seem to be the lucky person at Parkside…
I'm SO sorry Mrs Hawkes, normally you'd be out within two minutes.
(15-20 minutes later..)
Who was it that put these in?
Me: Tim Bishop, I'm assuming – I was asleep at the time
Well, I'm going to have a word with him, this really cannot be done fully. We are going to have to leave a few tiny bits in there. I'm wondering if we should call the head nurse for a look.
Yes we could, but I do think they'll work their way out eventually
Me: Um…. internally or through the scars? (!)
Through the scars, so you might want to ask your husband to take a look every few days. If he sees thread, he needs to boil your eyebrow tweezers and then give it a wee tug and pull it out. That way the leftovers will come out in time.
I'm so sorry we've had to cause you so much pain. It's the thing I never liked about being a nurse, having to cause people pain
Me: Well luckily I've never had stitches removed that I can think of, so I haven't really got anything to compare it to. I was expecting it to hurt a bit, to be honest
Well, we usually have you in and out in an instant, so sorry that it wasn't quite like that. We'll put a tiny little plaster over them to protect them for the next few days – it's special stuff, usually used in face lifts.
Me: Well thanks for the spare roll, I might well use it for that instead.
Well really you should use them on your back, but it's all done – well, as much as we can get out for now. The rest should follow in a wee while.
Me: I think I might have a cup of tea when I get home…
Nurses: Well, I think you deserve something a little stronger than that..
(!)
x