Wednesday was a bit of a weird day – the very nice old family friend of Maureen, a chap called Steve from where Maureen grew up on Canvey Island, organised an access visit to her flat with the solicitor (to keep an eye on us!), plus 3 of Maureen's friends and me.
A chance to identify any last clothes that Maureen might like (and which could be small enough to fit her, as she's lost so much weight in the last few years) or any remaining trinkets from her flat to decorate her care home room. Also a chance to take a small memento each before the flat is unceremoniously cleared out and put up for sale. It's such an odd feeling to be picking over the bones of someone's home and life, without them being there – and while they are still alive! I did at least get 2 bags of bits for Maureen – and took the grand total of 2 post-it note packs for myself. (I had already snaffled my Maureen memento – a Bovril fridge magnet with an elderly lady golfer on it – perfect).
What was very sweet was Steve – who I've spoken to several times on the phone discussing Maureen and what help she needs – waiting outside the flat for me, away from the solicitor's gaze. He slipped me an envelope, whispering that there was some cash in there that he'd found, for me to use for any essentials for Maureen, as sometimes even getting a new moisturiser or hairbrush is a hassle these days – everyone is so careful with her money that it is hard to spend it for her benefit at all!
(I was straight onto Amazon that evening – a proper pair of hairdressing scissors and a cape that collects the hair being top of the list. Maureen refuses to see the hairdresser in the home so I've been doing my best to dry cut it for her – which quite frankly is like letting a wildebeest loose with some rusty choppers – so I'm hoping some better kit might make her hair look a tad less butchered. The jury's out still on this one!)
Ginny, Muriel & I then popped up to the care home see Maureen afterwards, equipped with face masks as there had been 2 cases of covid in the home during there last week. It's been a while since one of those graced my chops! We were also equipped far more thrillingly with a pack of jam tarts to go with coffee.
Maureen was very vocal and alert this visit – nice, as sometimes she is very sleepy from the medication she's given there. She may not be able to make very clear sentences any more but she did smile and seemed sort of engaged with the chat. It's funny how 4 people thrown together in tricky circumstances with the central person having dementia and not being able to make themself clear any more, still works as a little social gathering. And is often hilarious. Muriel (aged 90 and a half) cracks me up every time…
Anyway – here she is – just ignore the terrible hair and wish me (or more importantly, Maureen) good luck for next time… x x