Well, it was certainly a 'different' week! Actually really enjoyed it – although after 4 cities I think Janine and I had finally had enough of blue mosaics as the huge buildings were all starting to merge into one, in the 40 degree 'it's really not hot, 60 degrees is hot' according to the guides, temperature…..
But it did herald a lot of firsts and funnies, such as:
– the fact that every sight seemed to start with an 'm' – mosaics, madrassas, museums, markets. mosques, minarets, mausoleums etc – clearly a country with a limited alphabetic span
– climbing to the top of a minaret up the lowest headroom stairs ever, resulting in J practically being unable to walk for the rest of the week, although sliding down the endless stairs on her butt on the way back down did at least get most of the chewing gum off her trousers
– groundhog meals – the seemingly unchanging menu in every restaurant (we have shashlik, tomato and onion 'fresh' salad (glad we never saw the not-fresh ones), non bread (good at lunch, a tad brittle by dinner) or plov (the look on J's face at the dubious quality of the fatty meat was pure comedy)
– trying on sheep hats in the ancient city of Khiva – ok so it may be as cold as minus 40 in winter but its very funny that they sell these – and ones with an entire arctic fox head dangling down by your ear lobe – in the boiling summer, when there's not a single t-shirt to be found
– trying to escape the finer detail the local guides were desperate to impart – I for one, do not need to know the pond system of the 1500's, mapped out as an artist's impression for the unwary visitor, when I could alternatively be standing under the museum's aircon unit for a minute instead
– being offered a 'cold drink' in the bazaar – see the photo of the large dodgy jar – and being unable to stop myself saying 'you must be joking' when I suspect 'no thanks it's fine, I've still got some bottled water' might have been less of a horrified response
– being grabbed by various locals wanting photos of us, rather than the other way round. Janine scored 3 grabs, me only one – I am clearly the less attractive blondie of the two of us!
– climbing up to the ancient fortress in the Khorezm desert and being the only people there in the baking sun – keeping a close eye that our driveer, half a mile away back at the small yurt camp, wasn't going to bugger off and leave us up there
– trying to persuade the wonderful table of Uzbek old bats having tea to smile and show their full sets of gold teeth in the photo – with only me grinning like a twat as I wielded the camera and all of them resolutely keeping their gobs shut
– Janine's look of surprise as we sat in a bar having an early evening Baltika beer – and me turning just in time to see a huge camel taking itself home for the night between the two walls right behind me
– paying for meals with their crazy devalued currency – usually only about $20 between us – but still necessitating counting out 70 separate notes of 1,000 SOM each – about an inch of paper every time, and only rivalled by us changing dollars on the black market, when you need a full bag to get away..
– making the most of the local spirit – hurrah, vodka for only 30p a shot – and served in the cutest chilled sherry glasses on long stems – prost!
And I could waffle on… but here are a few pix to whet your Uzbek whistle.
Huge thanks again to J for coming with me when thousands wouldn't – hope the bargarama $20 fag cartons went some way to make up for the week's events x