So yes, I have been feeling increasingly like a bag of shit all week but I had only seen Ray this very Monday, and had a chest X-ray then. How much can go wrong in the two days been then coming back this morning? Quite a lot, so we have just learned…
I felt like cak this morning still – sweating hot/cold, coughing, knackered, breathing issues – but still went up to PS with H for what was meant to be the third week of chemo, the last one for this cycle.
They took one look at me (and some fairly terrible stats including a resting pulse of 130, 88% oxygen SATs and a temperature of 39.8) and all hell broke loose
This is only the half of what I can actually remember but the order of batshitness was something like this:
– got taken in a wheelchair (oh the ignominy) down to the chemo lounge, and straight away hooked to a pile of IV antibiotics, fluids and God only knows what else
– This was in the one private room off the chemo lounge – you know things aren't good when there is a bunch of fellow losers getting chemo just outside the door and you are deemed to be the 'worst of the worst' so get the room. It's not the place to be.
– Ray came down, said I have septicaemia and a respiratory infection, and that the next time my temperature goes anywhere north of 38 we are to call him immediately. At this point things were pretty serious as until they were – luckily – able to reduce my temperature and start pumping in some drugs against the infection, it can go either way. Fortunately it did.
– had to hug my husband as he was in bits
– eventually got transferred by ambulance (double ignominy) to the main hospital (Carry On film special as its all of 80 yards from Cancer Centre London, took longer to strap & ratchet the wheelchair down than it did to do the drive)
– was in a bit of a mess so got admitted to the High Dependancy Unit – not somewhere you want to be for long shall we say. My face fell a mile.
– am now tethered to the frigging bed with a pile of tubes and an oxygen bar up my schnozz. The oxygen is having to do battle with the snot travelling south so good luck with that. So even going for a wee is now a military activity. And they even want to measure that, urgh.
But what's really crap is that it looks like I'm stuck here for probably 5 – yes five – days minimum so they can continue the antibiotic by IV, and try and improve my airways / breathing / oxygen levels etc. Bloody fuck buggery bollocks. My 'five hours of Thursday chemo' just got turned into at least five bloody days in goddamned hospital.
So apologies – huge apologies, I absolutely hate hate hate it when my shit medical status impacts not only on my life but other people's too – go to:
– the group of girls I was meant to be hVing a 'pedicures, prosecco and fish&chips' night with tonight. I had Massively been looking forward to it and had grown my toenails in giant claws….. And now I now have no prosecco, dinner here waas, lets just say 'average' and I'm still left with my giant bleddy hoof claws
– Moonie and Paul, who were kindly hosting us and 2 other sets of mates at her gaff this Saturday, which has now all been cancelled
– the'two Helens' who we were meant to be hosting this Sunday lunch at ours
– and depending when I get out of here, possibly some things early next week, including just one night away at a hotel using a Christmas voucher from my lovely husband which was meant to be a little treat, and one I can see going up in a puff of smoke at this point. Hopefully we can rebook. But when even little nice things get whisked away from you, it's hard not to feel bloody pissed off as, let's face it, these past 2 months have been sodding hard work and I've felt dreadful the majority of the time. Just one night away would have been nice.
Bloody hell, I wanted that pedicure and to laugh with the girls tonight. Trying hard not to look at the clock and imagine what they'll be doing right now…
All this while I wait for 'tablets at 10pm'. Who the hell wants their tablets at ten o'clock at night?? I am the only person in here unless they get an emergency admission during the night, so you'd think they could bring them a bit earlier. Then maybe I could actually try and get some kip.
It really has been one hell of a day….. X X