Well, that was an epic fail last night. H added the all-important new antibiotics to my Aciclovir yoghurt and I immediately gagged, retched and had to hang onto the washing up bowl for a while. There's a reason these things come in capsules and it's because the contents are completely disgusting. I'm not going to be able to take them this way.
Sat, feeling pretty abject, on the sofa, wondering what the hell we try next. The answer is probably going to be either another related form of penicillin which might taste less rank, or having to do this via IV. But for 3-6 months?? I can't go to Parkside 4 times a day for months – but how on earth are we going to get the drugs in me otherwise? It's 3am now and I can't see a way to get treatment underway, though am desperate to reduce the pain. Plus am trying not to worry about the implications of having an infection in something as core as my spine… clearly not a good thing to have… I just don't know if it can spread.
It's now 10am and I was fairly comfy on the sofa until suddenly got the 'panicky rush' feeling, had to sit up sharpish, empty a few sweets out of a bowl on the coffee table and throw up this morning's milk and yoghurt into the bowl. Where did that come from?? Not nice. Possibly as had only 2 spoons of lasagne for dinner last night with several of the under tongue painkillers – maybe not enough food to soak up the drugs. Urgh.
Fitz then came round bearing M&S bits of nosh – gingerly had a slice of bread with a Laughing Cow triangle and ham on it. And even some cucumber – I think the first bit of anything green in over a month. Top marks the Fitzer.
H worked from home as we were expecting to be called to Parkside. Got the unpleasant sounding news that Prof and the back surgeon have decided between them that I need to have a back biopsy to look into the infection, and need to see them about this some time tomorrow.
They never give any clues around things like this – is there a decent anaesthetic? What's the procedure like? Do I need to fast beforehand? Why do they want to do it? All I get is the word 'biopsy' and it sounds bloody painful.
Just had my (doctor) brother on the phone, trying to reassure me about the biopsy. Says I need to ask them to numb the local area and then the track itself if they are going into the bone. Suggested I try and think positively about it as it might make it less painful but I am now 100% bricking it.
How am I even going to lie on a bed in the right position? I can barely move now, the reason I'm writing this is that I've just tried to get up and it was so sore that I've rolled onto my back and am updating this as a distraction.
And how am I going to tolerate more massive needles in my back? If I flinch or have a pain attack it's not great to have a whacking needle stuck into your spine at the time. Rick doesn't think they'll give me a general anaesthetic but I just can't see how we can go ahead unless I'm knocked out. So sick of all this – without sounding too sorry for myself I have had way more than my fair share of shit and everything feels insurmountable now, whether it's swallowing tablets or having invasive back procedures. Major major urrrgggh.
Fell asleep for about the 5th time on the sofa in front of the fire, so have just made it up to bed. Mojo has decided to grace me rather than Mum with her furriness tonight, a Billy bonus treat in an otherwise treading-time day x