Well, here I am – officially in the Dark Side. Not a great start – was shown to a small room despite having supposedly 'booked' one of the bigger ones, as I am in for such a long stay. Room is minute, furniture shabby, have to move the chair to even get at the cupboard and there's no fridge, despite being told that there would be one. So the drinks I'd prepared to help me swallow the necessary tablets – something I am still no good at – can't be chilled.
Staff doing their best to resolve the situation – offered me a bed in the room off the High Dependency Unit – but I didn't want to be a monumental pain in the ass within the first 15 minutes (Although they were already pretty aware that there was an upset Scotty in the house..) All so bloody stressful when it didn't need to be – at a time when emotions are running pretty high, unsurprisingly.
So I am in Room 304 for 2-3 nights until a bigger room becomes available. At least there are 5-6 staff that I know from previous 'visits' so that does help. And H is here, although he's about to be despatched home as I have brilliantly left my glasses in my handbag – which isn't here.
Am trying to cope with the fuzziness around what time things will happen tomorrow: 'you'll go down to theatre in the morning'. When? I'm nil by mouth from midnight so need to try not to shovel in painkillers at 3am as I do most nights, as that's not ideal for sedation tomorrow. And then the Melphalan is 'in the afternoon'. So every time the door opens, even if its the tea lady or the cleaner, I will be bricking it.
Think I will have to get my first pair of pyjamas on soon – from the pile of 10. It's the last bit of clinging to the outside world, wearing proper clothes, but I guess there's no avoiding it.
Will try and update on here each day – its only been 2 and a quarter hours since I got here and I want to go home already.
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