Some very bad news (sorry guys)

Hello lovely friends

This is one of the hardest blog posts I have ever had to write. Please forgive me as the words below are not good news, and it’s not the nicest way of dropping a bombshell on people that we care about. But equally, we are already finding it exhausting telling everyone the news individually, and keeping them updated as we find out more, so I’m afraid, here it is. Up to you if you choose to read on..

For once, this is not about my medical issues, but this time it’s about Hawksey. He’s been having tests over the last couple of years and finally someone has come back with a diagnosis. And it was very bad news. The only thing I can say to soften the blow is that a second opinion is underway and this may evolve the picture. Either for the better, or worse, we just don’t know as yet.

But last Friday we were told that Hawksey has prostate cancer. And the words used included ‘advanced’, ‘non curable’, ‘aggressive’, ‘interesting’, ‘rare’ and even ‘bizarre’. Bizarre because it seems that the scan imagery and bloods and other tests don’t quite seem to add up to a ‘tidy’ picture.

We don’t fully understand why as this is a whole new ballgame at this point, but one thing for example, is that his PSA score (the thing they usually use to diagnose prostate cancer, if its high, you have it) is very low. Hence the stuff has gone from Parkside to the Royal Marsden now, to be reassessed by their team. And hence things may get better or worse once they work out if something has been negatively mis-read, or if it really is something rare and even more shitty – and then it will depend what they can do about it.

Normally prostate cancer is one of the ‘best’ that someone can be diagnosed with – there is an overall high success rate in getting rid of it, especially when diagnosed early. But we have been told Hawksey is at Stage 4-5, out of five stages. Which makes it potentially treatable, but not curable now. The new consultant has already started him on a base line treatment, while they have all the info re-checked. This will take 2-3 weeks apparently – not ideal but we will have to sit tight and wait. And hope massively that they have got something wrong or at the very least that there will then be a clearer picture about how to treat him.

We are obviously horribly shocked and scared about what this means. But as always with cancer, it will be a case of waiting, seeing what impact treatment has, finding out more as we go and hoping with all our hearts that he will nail the disease.

So for now, I will update via here as we don’t want to spend too much time talking about it, as that just adds to the load. So, no calls please, for now. And its nearly Christmas, so no-one should be thinking about shit like this, at this time of year. I’m sorry to have to even tell you, but various people know as we’ve had to cancel a few things, so rather than the jungle drums (useful as they are!) beating,I thought I had better put it ‘out there’.

Anyone religious, get praying please. We’ll take all the help we can get. We can’t believe this has happened to both of us. But Hawksey is currently feeling strong and positive, and will give it everything he’s got. And he is a fighter, and the fight starts now.

Love to you all, Scotty.