Ha, ha, ha – just had to share with you the last three weeks of 'what the hell is that weird beeping noise in the kitchen?'
Some bloody annoying noise, going off every 5 minutes, three different tones, 'beep boop dah!' to mock us even more that we had no idea where the hell it was coming from.
First of all we thought it was the dishwasher. So we lavished some dishwash salt on it, poured in extra rinse aid, considered Calgon but couldn't be arsed to buy any, almost coerced Lee into getting handy Jarrod round to look at it - and then decided it wasn't coming from there.
Then thought it was the fridge – couldn't think of what loving attention you can give a fridge, so turned it off to see if the noise persisted…. and then it did, which counted out the fridge.
So could it be the microwave convection thingy above the fridge? Nope, too high for the source of the noise unless it was playing silly buggers bouncing off the ceiling and coming downwards…. counted that one out too.
Then considered the smoke alarm – but we all know how those scream and our delicate tri-tone just wasn;t in keeping with a smokey screech.
Or what about the burglar sensor thingy - but also in the wrong place, wherever the noise was emanating from it wasn't quite the top corner of the room by the door, however handy a solution that might have been.
My how much fun we were having bu this time, what a great way to spend a Sunday morning…
Then had all the cupboards open in case some mechanical thing had got shoved to the back and was making its disapproval known, taunting us with a 'come and find me' lure. But no. The plates and ramekins just wouldn't sing out on demand, funny that..
Cue Hawksey sitting with his head in EVERY openable orifice (of the kitchen variety, pervs), the cats looking in too, in case he was about to pull out a surprise kipper for them and me taking the piss at the sorry sight before me.
ONLY TO THEN WORK OUT…….
IT WAS
COMING
FROM
THE
BLOODY
CAT FLAP!!!
What the f*ck??????
Anyway, turns out it has batteries in it – which does make sense but it really didn't sound like it was coming from the blooming back door – but now we know. And now H can emerge triumpant from having materfully hunter-gathered… 4 out of date AA batteries TA DA!
Sx