2 Years Post-Transplant

Well, the day's rolled round and its a funny old feeling.

It's 2 years today since I sat on my bed in Parkside, with 6 tubes sprouting precariously from my neck. When they brought the freezing mini Tardis in with its precious packets of what looked like frozen salmon, my invisible but magical stem cells, ready to be squeezed back into me.

I feel hugely lucky to be sitting here today, having just been to the gym, been to the dentist and about to do a whole host of other mundane (and some nicer) day off type things – basically a healthy normal human being. It almost surprises me now when people I haven't seen for a while linger on the question 'no really, how ARRRRRRRE you?' when we do meet, and it takes a second for me to think what they're alluding to. Now that's a mental position I never thought I'd be back in… but slowly, over time, the MM beast has been shoved to a space at the back of my head and life is pretty, well, normal.

It is a place from where though, the MM spectre is still however, all too able to leap back right into my frontal lobes, jangling my inner wind chimes with a sense of hideous urgency… but it's also a space I am generally able to consign it back to, after feelign awful and some hours of licking the scars again… off it goes with its miserable tail between its legs.

So today is a day to raise a glass to those that haven't made it this far – and to those in my Under 50s group especially who are going through treatment, either for the first time (wide eyed and terrified) or for a repeat time (resigned, bug eyed and more bloody terrified).

So here's to the beast staying on its back burner for some time to come.. I'm toying with not going for a check up (after the one on 7th Feb) until after the wedding because I just don't want to know if there is any bad news that will massively take the shine off our big day … but then again, it would be a bit crazy to tip up on a catamaran in the BVIs and for something to go wrong. Arse – damned if you do and if you don;t - never like that bloody game!

But still – its a huge bloody great ball of joy to still be here. Still be 'me'. Still be doing my blinking chores like an OCD freak. Still be looking forward to a cocktail or two over the weekend. And still have many of you monkeys in my diary to catch up with over the coming weeks and months.

Here's to life, team – couldn't do it with without all of you x