3 year Anniversary

Yes, it's a weird happy aniversary to me – three years today since I was diagnosed with the joys of MM. Still remember incredibly clearly, walking from one Parkside building to the other for some random test that I still thought was to do with my dodgy ribs (underactive thyroid / some muscular issue that could easily be sorted, so I thought). And also that I offered to carry the Parkside internal form with me, rather than have a staff member walk over with me – no need for that I thought, they should spend their time on someone who really needs it. Ho ho-dee ho.

Which did then lead to the great moment of me of course reading the A4 sheet of referral paper in triplicate, and spotting the mysterious words 'New Myeloma' in the left hand column.

'What's this Myeloma thingy I thought? Sounds like Melanoma, but I'm sure my ribs aren't suffering from excess sunbathing'. 'Must be something to do with glands. Or ribs that need extra calcium to beef them back up again'. What an interesting new word, I must find out what it is so I can bore people 

So I asked the poor sod in the X-ray department whose face was obviously a picture of 'oh god, no-one's told her / she shouldn't have seen the form / what the fuck am I going to say / how do I tell her she's just fallen into the 'monumentally screwed' category / which idiot sent her here without a hand-holder / with any luck she'll die before she comes back here and I ever have to look her in the face again' – amazing how expressive a face can be all in about 5 seconds!

But – it's a good thing obviously, that I'm still here. Making mistakes, trying to do things right, making the most of time, pissing people off sometimes when I don't mean to, knowing that some things I do – like for Mum – are bang on the right thing to do…. all the usual meanderings of life and trying to find your pathway through it.

And given that the 'life expectancy of 2-5 years post-diagnosis' which I went home and read starkly on the Internet that night is still deeply burned on my retinas, here's to 3 years. 3 years in which I've had some bollock-brilliant times. Many cracking laughs. Some cool new experiences. Married my lovely man. Grown to adore my small furry feline black shadow. Got a new niece. And made the most of every day. Even those days when you go to the supermarket, empty the litter tray, order some gubbins online, sort the bins out, look at kitchen tiles and buy some practical M&S boots for your Mum's birthday- all days have to be good days, even if it's just a small thing that you think and smile about as you lie in bed that night.

Thank god for the three years. It's more than I thought I'd get. Here's to keepin 'em coming, Sx