Red tape lunacy

So this week, three great examples of British bureaucracy and red tape, as regards poor old Mum:

1. Blue Badge: To get a Blue Badge so we can use disabled parking spaces, you need two passport photos of the applicant. But to get passport photos I need to be able to park near a photo booth… so how exactly is that meant to happen then?? Aaarrrgghhh.

2. Attendance Allowance: Just had ludicrous phone call where because I am Mum's daughter and she's moved in with us, I have to provide all sorts of phone evidence, which I haven't got. If I call back and pretend to be someone else I will be able to somehow clear security with far fewer questions – which basically means its better to ring up and lie than tell the truth. And what do I get – them to send me a form just so that I can apply for the extra level of care, it's not like I'm breaking into her bank account!!!!! Its a bloody piece of paper!!!!!!!! Double aaarrrgh.

3. Online banking: The conversation goes 'hello Mum's bank, I have power of attorney and I need to access Mum's accounts'. 'Oh really, well you need to put her on the phone to clear security. Mrs Scott, tell me 3 direct debits and your sort code'. Mum 'no idea, who are you?' Me 'You can see she can't manage that, it's quite a hard question for anyone, let alone an elderly lady'. Bank: 'well you'll have to bring her in to a branch then'. Me 'but she can hardly walk, you have no parking and it's not great for her to have to do'. Bank ' Unlucky'. Me 'Aaaaaaaaaaarrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!'

Am starting to think it's a cosmic set-up and someone is jerking my care-needs chain…. When I work out who it is, they'll be on Mum bathroom clean up duty, quick smart…swines.

On a brighter note, we have worked out how to get Mum to go further than the next house down, on her supposed daily walks, which she is basically refusing to do like a stubborn donkey. Tell her that she's off to the 377 Cafe on the main road for lunch, and magically she develops an immediate ability to walk 400 yards, and trough like a horse, not the aforesaid donkey – result.

Happy days! S