‘Fruit Juice is My Friend’

‘Fruit juice is my friend’, ‘fruit juice is my friend’, ‘fruit juice is my friend’, fruit juice is my friend’……

Wonder how many times I’ll need to repeat that this week, while I’m on this SuperJuice diet??????

It’s something Hawksey and the other two people we’re going on holiday with (Nursey & Hannah) in 2 weeks time have embarked on, so in true peer pressure fashion I have had to join them, for fear of being harpooned accidently when we’re on our catamaran in the Thai seas, as the only lard bucket on board.

Seems to involve 5 x half litre juices a day, plus a hot apple & cinnamon toddy at night (sadly minus the vodka/rum), plus an assortment of the kind of weird shit you find in health food shops that I have always previously laughed my socks off at.

Spirulina???

Wheatgrass?

And I don’t even know what the third one is, just that it smells like fresh horse poo.

Anyway – its day 3 and very bizarrely:

• I’ve not been hungry at all, despite there being no ‘real’ food involved

• They all actually taste nice, as the ratio of apples / pineapples seems to be enough to drown out the spinach / watercress / cucumber / kale etc

• Drinking pulverised avocado is actually oddly sensual

• Beetroot, though my absolute childhood nemesis, is just about alright, though it does make the shake look like a dose of vampire top-up

• The anticipated ‘what no diet coke?’ shakes and headaches have magically not appeared, god knows how, I thought the caffeine withdrawal would be a shocker

• I still seem to have plenty of energy, although off to the gym in half an hour so if you hear after today that I passed out flailing a VIPR this week, that’ll be when it happens

• Going to work with 4 tupperwares of thick juice is actually not TOO disquieting a prospect, and instead quite pleasantly mildly smugness-inducing

• And actually, the amount of ‘good stuff’ in a day has to be about 10 times – literally – what I’d normally have of the green/fruit variety of foods, so has to be damn fine for the system and even better for my errant cells, so has to be worth a go

It’s meant to lose you 7lbs in 7 days – a good start to then putting back every ounce in a fab diet of Green Curries and Chicken with Basil & Chilli, which I intend to have for all three meals, all 14 days of being away….

Apparently Jordan lost 2 stone in two months or something on it, so with an inspiring celeb story like that to spur you on (as if) – what’s not to like??

Will let you know how it goes – and if my insides and our loos, survive it….

The FruitBat x

PS Did this post lok different to my normal ones? The font seems to have regressed to some prehistoric times-roman one…. You gotta love the foibles of technology.