on a deck in a game reserve in South Africa, watching 10 noisy elephants bathing in the lake beneath, trumpeting their joy…. Yes, deeply irritating for anyone at home in the snow and cold, sorry.

Started off the trip with 5 lovely nights on the Bazaruto Archipelago, although with no sighting of the hoped-for dugong. H in paroxysms of delight as he swam with a manta ray, as well as on seeing several turtles, other rays and dolphins. And this did at least mean my 100 countries was fully nailed – even had a very sweet trail of 100 fruits, shells and 'where next' notes laid for me on arrival, culminating in some chilled coconuts on our sun beds, to celebrate the big event.

Spent one night in a Vegas-esque glitterball of a hotel in Port Elizabeth before tipping up here yesterday. Pumba Game Reserve, for anyone considering a trip here, absolutely spanking with tip top service. Late into our game drive yesterday, we stopped, the guide made gin and tonic on the bonnet and revealed a huge basket of breaded prawns and savoury canapés, all eaten with 4 giraffes munching treetops in the background. Now that beats a pee-stop at South Mimms services. Just a shame we were too busy watching 3 vast rhino which were about 3 yards away this morning, to have the hot chocolate laced with Amarula. I didn't know that stuff still existed, but if you're going to have it anywhere, it might as well be where elephants actually live..

So here's hoping the white lion population decides to reveal itself later (to cheer you up, it's actually foggy and drizzling here now), then we can just play with some final warthogs before heading off to Knysna.

More gallingly smug hols reportage to follow, aren't you lucky… Mr and Mrs Daktari x