Scrumpy is now a Ladydog

Finally!

After 18 months of wating and wondering, we now have the answers to two vital questions:

1. When on earth is Scrumpy going to have her first 'season'

And more importantly:

2. How disgustingly gross is it going to be?

Having never had a dog I had no idea what lay in store (ah the bliss of ignorance) – until now.

I'll spare you the full detail as in fact the sound effects are probably more revolting than the visible impact (imagine something licking its ladybits 23 hours a day with particuarly slobbery effect, including supping up any locatable female effluent as it goes) – and there you have it. Makes hearing amorous teenagers 'sucking face' a quiet and pleasant background noise by comparison.

And then add on some of the visual stuff – including the hanging baboon's arse she seems to have developed – and it's a pciture you may not want to fully contemplate.

Still, give me another few weeks and I'll have persuaded Mr H to get her spayed before the next one rolls round.

I mean, they last 3 weeks! Have you ever tried keeping an excitable Springer sequestered for 3 weeks at a pop? Only the thought of her being rogered senseless by an exuberant Dachshund just about counter-balances the horror of her barely going out, except under cover of darkness.

And I can't even tell you how much kitchen towel we're going through. Mmmmmuuuuurrrgggggh.

I can see now why I was never going to cut it as a vet.

Season schmeason. Bring on the snippers…

Bad Mummy x