So, went to Sport Relief at the velodrome last night with Janine & Ross and depite the enforced flag-waving and dancing with Miranda it was actually quite good fun. Possibly more so in some ways than the 'real' cycle event that we'd seen only the previous Friday (I think I'm now done on weekly schleps to Stratford for a while – hopefully..).
Definite facts that I ascertained from the night include:
– John Bishop is lots more fun than Seb Coe. Every photo Bishop is in, he's smiling or cracking a joke, every photo Seb is in, he looks like he has a poker up his bum while sucking on the proverbial lemon.
– It's a tight contest in who is hotter between Olly Murs and Freddie Flintoff. Even in lycra.
– Freddie is rockhard. Even when he went down off his bike he didn't even look at the blood running down his arm. Nails.
– The boy in cutoff denims whirling the big metal hoop thing was actually quite good. And we were close enough to cougar over his youthful abs… roar.
– Judo people get left out. I don't think poor Nicola Adams actually competed in a single event, certainly not in the velodrome. Perhaps they dunked her in the pool and were just making up numbers at the bike track?
– The champion rhythmic gymnast girl with the twirly ribbon thing walks on her tiptoes even when she's not on the performance mat, nor even on camera. Achilles tendon cut at birth to guarantee twirling stardom?
– I have never and will never recognise a single Radio One DJ without being told who they are (and often, even when I am)
– Daley Thompson looks really surprised when he set the starter gun off – you think he'd have heard a few in his time, bless him
– That Blue Peter girl that does everything (except have a memorable name) is incredibly game but has surprisingly solid thighs for a tiny lass
– And most oddly of all, why weren't there ANY collection buckets or prompts to donate during the entire event? I'm guessing none of the £7 for a hog roast bun or £5 for a beer will be making its way into the sport Relief pot, so there's an idea for next year's one. Divvos.
A few pix – we were very lucky with front row seats so got some corkers!
S x