{"id":693,"date":"2017-03-26T22:40:33","date_gmt":"2017-03-26T22:40:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scottysblog.com\/happy-birthday-hawksey\/"},"modified":"2017-03-26T22:40:33","modified_gmt":"2017-03-26T22:40:33","slug":"happy-birthday-hawksey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scottysblog.com\/home\/happy-birthday-hawksey\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Birthday Hawksey"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wow, what a difference a few weeks can make. The last time we came down to the cottage, I was worried about the 75 minute journey to get here and spent the whole weekend horizontal on the sofa, unable to chip in any help, and in a world of pain every time I needed to move.<\/p>\n

Bloody marvellous therefore that this weekend was so, so different – and spot on perfect timing for the old man's 52nd birthday. (Though god knows how I am married to a 52 year old when I am surely only about 37 myself??!)<\/p>\n

He had a boys birthday night out on Fri with Nurse, Ash and Banners, and was still muttering the words 'Sienna Miller, she's so hot' over and over again, when he arrived on Saturday early afternoon, having somehow managed to cycle the 50 miles to the cottage, with the hangover to end all hangovers. Apparently she, plus Savannah and the rest of their family, were at the table next to them at Scotts (the nobby seafood place) on Friday evening, god help them all…<\/p>\n

Anyway – that blew away his cobwebs, so the rest of weekend was spent scoffing, dog walking , singing Happy Birthday, nipping to the pub for a pint, delighting in foie gras and generally celebrating in all ways that didn't involve being in restaurants with all the mums and offspring enjoying Mothers Day. Yep, it wasn't an ideal diary clash.. <\/p>\n

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 I do have to say that slightly when I also found myself in a garden centre with him this afternoon, his actual birthday, I did have the 'Is this what happens when you get middle aged??!' moment… Several bedding plants, herbs and with a near miss with buying a sheep-shaped planting trough, we did then buy some very nice dinner bits from a nearby farm shop, head back to the cottage for fizz, presents and – at last – a run through last year's photos.<\/a><\/p>\n

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This is a tradition we normally do on Xmas Day, but I wasn't quite on form enough to pull it off this December. So instead today we sat down in front of the cottage fire and looked back at last year's photos, properly selected, printed off and painstakingly put into an album. Normally there can be around 700 pictures worth looking at, as there are usually about 35-45 'events' in any decent year – holidays, birthdays, concerts, weekends away, girls days, nights on the slash, unusual 'things' that we've had a crack at, etc.<\/p>\n

But 2016 as you'll know was a 'challenge', to say the least, so there were fewer pictures this time round. And each one was a reminder of how tough last year was – I remember how crappy I felt in the vast majority of the photos, right down to H's birthday dinner up in town last year with a bunch of friends, that I was too ill to even make it to.<\/p>\n

So it is just so MASSIVELY good to be in a far, far better space for his birthday this year. Partly because I feel much more well, full stop. Partly as the days are lighter and sunnier, and there should be 6 cheery months of good weather ahead to buoy us onwards. But also because I realised something that feels different – and that is that there is hope right now. Hope that health will either stay as it is, or possibly even improve a touch more. Hope that we will get our lives back to an extent from now, for an unknown amount of time. It was 6 years last time, who knows what life will kindly give us this time round. And hope that we can get on and do some of the normal, happy things that most people get to do, which have been out of our reach for a while.<\/p>\n

And hope is a damn fine thing.<\/p>\n

Yes, in having hope you open yourself up to potential disappointment- or even disaster in this situation. But I decided years back that I have to let hope in, or you spend every day, even the good ones, with fear too prominent in your head. <\/p>\n

So it was good to realise that actually hope is finally here again, having been squished into nothingness by the endless treatment, pain and general shit for so long.<\/p>\n

Welcome back, nice sensation. Here's to you sticking around for as long as possible. And for making H's birthday a happy, hope-filled time where we are feeling 'good stuff' may just be possible for us again. As they say, that one's priceless x <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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