1.0Welcome to Scottys Bloghttps://scottysblog.com/homeScotty Hawkeshttps://scottysblog.com/home/author/scotty-hawkes/rich600338<blockquote class="wp-embedded-content" data-secret="F9mI07nuT5"><a href="https://scottysblog.com/home/double-poo/">Double Poo</a></blockquote><iframe sandbox="allow-scripts" security="restricted" src="https://scottysblog.com/home/double-poo/embed/#?secret=F9mI07nuT5" width="600" height="338" title="“Double Poo” — Welcome to Scottys Blog" data-secret="F9mI07nuT5" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" class="wp-embedded-content"></iframe><script> /*! This file is auto-generated */ !function(d,l){"use strict";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&"undefined"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!/[^a-zA-Z0-9]/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret="'+t.secret+'"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret="'+t.secret+'"]'),c=new RegExp("^https?:$","i"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display="none";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute("style"),"height"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):"link"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute("src")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener("message",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll("iframe.wp-embedded-content"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute("data-secret"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+="#?secret="+t,e.setAttribute("data-secret",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:"ready",secret:t},"*")},!1)))}(window,document); //# sourceURL=https://scottysblog.com/wp-includes/js/wp-embed.min.js </script> Not sure which one of these is worse, but here they are in chronological order: 1. Conker has gone missing. Last seen, as normal, scoffing her 'night night nuggies' at 10pm last Wednesday evening, before hurtling off out the cat flap in hot pursuit of nocturnal entertainment, while Mojo ambles sleepily up the stairs to […]